Looking Back

I just don’t know what was wrong with me. It was as if I were a stranger in my own body; I was conscious of what I was doing, yet it seemed as if I had no control over it … someone or something was exerting a greater amount of influence over my mind.

I want to apologize for what I did. I really do. But I still can’t get myself to say those two words: I’m sorry. I really don’t know what came over me. I mean, I was hungry. What was I supposed to do; you had a hot pocket in your hand. I took a bite. I know it was wrong for me to. What was even worse was that a burning sensation came over my tongue, and I immediately lost all control.

The hot pocket ended up on the floor. I was heartbroken too, just like you. But unlike you, I couldn’t express it on the outside. Trust me, I was devastated. When you told me to make you another one, you just broke me down. It was almost as if you were mocking me, mocking me over the hot pocket I can never have. One loss was enough; I didn’t want another casualty. 

That’s when I lost control. I couldn’t take it anymore. You have to understand that I was not myself. I compare the loss of the hot pocket to the loss of my first dog Lee Jin. They both were delicious …

We ended up fighting that day. I want to take it back.

Junior, if you ever read this, can you forgive me?

From,

A regretful friend